Dear Jack,
Today, for the first time, you stayed at Grandma’s house for the whole day while I went to work. This is probably the longest you and I have ever been apart. You and I have been like two peas in a pod.
People often say things to me like, “How wonderful for your son it must be to grow up in a bookstore!” And, so far, that’s what’s happened. You’ve come with me every day. For months, we had a play yard right by the counter. Then we set up a play area for you in the back, so you could crawl around without getting stepped on by shoppers. We even had your first birthday party at the bookstore!
A couple of days ago, I took you to a library for the first time. If I’ve ever worried that you’ll tire of books, that trip was a big indicator that you probably won’t (or, at least, you haven’t yet). I want to take you back. We had such a nice time.
You’re growing up now though. You’ll still be in the store a lot, of course, but it’s not fair to make you be here all the time. Little boys just need to be loud sometimes.
I want to encourage you to pursue what interests you. I want you to know that, whatever you want to do with your life, I’ll be cheering for you. That’s what my store is to me. It’s what I’ve made of myself. If it wasn’t so important to me, I would never be able to part with you for even a whole minute to be there.
I wonder sometimes if you can ever know how much I love you. I don’t think you can. I try to tell myself that maybe when you have your own children you’ll understand. But when that happens for you, and I do hope that it will, it will feel so profound and new that you will say to yourself, “Oh, no, there’s never been a love like this before.”
But there has been. Oh, my boy, your mommy loves you so much that the words she’s used to build her life fall short and useless. There are no words, Jack, for how much I love you.
I hope you’re being good for Grandma right now.
Love, Mommy
